Living – instead of surviving

My heart is heavy and it feels like a wave of sadness, gratitude and humbleness pours through my body. Tears are falling down on my already wet cheek. My vision is clouded as I continue to be touched in the reading of Kristian Gidlunds book: “Towardsthe heart of the monsoon – articles and interviews”.

This courageous man who has touched millions of hearts through his blog (that later evolved into the two books “Within the body that’s mine: the journey towards the end of life and the beginning of everything” and “Within the body that’s mine: Vägsjäl [a wordplay freely translated as “Soulsection”]) where he openly and skinless describes his life with cancer.

He writes about his wishes, desires, his joy and grief, his loneliness, anxiety, anger, his feeling of powerlessness and about death. Kristian Gidlund strived to the very end and to the very fullest to live his life fully.

When my tears have dried my mouth is smiling. I am smiling for the desires, joys and wishes I often get to experience in my clinic. I receive the gift to witness individuals and couples who stand up for themselves, that opens up and justlike Kristian dare to expose themselves in their search to be able to live life to the fullest. The wave of sorrow is transformed to a wave of warmth as I stretch out and my vision is once again clear.

With a small sight I consider that all we know is that we know nothing. That we are all living on borrowed time and therefore we should be dancing, calling out hurrays and appreciate what we have in this moment of now. To have the courage to now when the opportunity is here, release our grip of powerlessness and anxiety and focus our attention towards things what we can affect.

Words from the Serenity Prayer are shown in my imagination. The Serenity Prayer was written by the American priest and theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. It’s a Christian prayer that is also used in organizations as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcomaniac Anonymous.(NA)

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

These wise and important words are dear to me. They are the foundation of my new and exciting online course. It will be a large knowledgebase – available in both Swedish and English – to inspire to power, happiness and of course loving relationships. This is a course that’s directed to you as an individual, to give you the opportunity to choose to do your part in creating love, both within yourself and withing your family and the people you hold dear.

To put it simply, to live instead of survive.

Eva Berlander